1. Wife:You see.According to te statistics on thepaper,80% of those who have died of liver cancer have drunk alcohol.
Husband:It’s okey. To my investigation,all Thespeopleeat meals.
2. “Excuse me,but the seat you’ve taken is mine.”
“Yours?Can you prove it?”
“Yes,I put a cup of ice cream on it.”
3. One day,Eve asked Adam,”Doyou really love me?”
Adam said helplessly,”Do I have any other choice?”
4. Always Thirsty
“I had an operation,” said a man to his friend, “and the doctor left a sponge in me.”
“That”s terrible!” said the friend. “Got any pain?”
“No, but I am always thirsty!”
5. A Useful Way
Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?
Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.
Father: What”s that got to do with it?
Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.
6. A Present
Kate: Mom, do you know what I”m going to give you for your birthday?
Mom: No, Honey, what?
Kate: A nice teapot.
Mom: But I”ve got a nice teapot.
Kate: No, you haven”t. I”ve just dropped it.
7. The Doctor Knows Better
A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: “I think that he is very ill.”
“I am afraid that he is dead.” said the doctor.
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: “I”m not dead. I”m still alive.”
“Be quiet, ” said the wife. “the doctor knows better than you!”
8. Waste or Save?
Father: Oh, Jack, you have slept away the whole morning. Don”t you know you are wasting time?
Jack: Yes, Dad. But I”ve saved you a meal, haven” I?
9. Why Is He Howling
Dentist: Please stop howling. I haven”t even touched your tooth yet.
Patient: I know, but you are standing on my foot!